生病是什么？ 生病是—— 无法入睡，无法入睡，每隔几个小时就要被嗓子疼醒，醒来后屋里是暗的，眼神是亮的，上厕所，擤鼻涕，没有安抚嗓子的药，抓着被子辗转反侧，想哭也没有眼泪。上帝啊，让我睡着吧，让我睡着吧—— 无法醒来，醒来头5分钟活像一只喷火龙，却又期待着早晨，可以从无边无尽地疼痛中醒过来，可以给自己一个理由离开床，可以感受到自己还在活着，是活着—— VC银翘，阿莫西林，板蓝根，双黄连，西瓜霜，金嗓子，念慈庵，海王银得菲，白加黑，一堆叫不上名字的药，含服，咽服，冲服，饭前，饭后，睡前，一顿一顿一顿—— 小诊所已经成了令人安心的地方，毫无意义的宣传片，沉静的病态的人们，每隔几分钟响起的冰冷的不带感情的叫号，医生带着口罩的笑容，13块，一切一切都提醒着你，还活着，还活着—— 鼻炎，嗓子痛，发烧，胃痛，耳朵痛，背痛，腰痛，头痛，还有哪里不能痛，还有哪里还好的，趴跪在旁边你想大喊，想哭，想用刀割开喉咙，想换一个胃，想永远，永远，沉寂在永恒的绝望之塔，想就这样死去—— 对一切都失去了兴趣，提不起精神吃饭或做事，闷在屋里，无法集中注意力，桌子一团糟，除了白粥什么都不想吃，不想有表情，厌恶交谈，我只想逃跑，只想逃跑—— 生病是什么？

freeze and frozen.

I need a rescue when I cannot spell it correctly.

我听不到。

我心里有个大洞。 我其实并没有在做什么。我只是兴致勃勃乐此不疲地在waste time. 英文比中文牛逼多了。中文的我爱你就是我爱你，英文可以说i love you, I loved you, etc. “其实当一个女人已经和一个男人在一起一年半，连举着报纸坐在马桶上玩填字游戏的样子都被他看过之后，她真的不会在工作日晚上十点多被他叫出门时还大费周章地找一身漂亮衣服、并一丝不苟地化好妆。 女人只有在预感到自己要上“战场”时才这么做。”

July 1st. My cough gets worse. Nobody is in the room and the room is cold. Noises are always there while I cannot catch them. I think I need to see a doctor. 初中的时候英语课，老师让月月读课文。课文正文是啥玩意我已经完全不记得了，只记得月月读“July the first” 的时候，我彻彻底底地被迷倒了。现在想起来月月是英音，我身边这么多年来唯一一个说英音的朋友，她的发音温和，优雅，迷人，如同一瓶上好的美酒。 July 1st. Nobody is talking to me and I think I need a rest.

不管多久，多久以后，碰到死亡梗，我惟一能做的，就是束手就擒。 多年前以虐文起家，多年后还是无牵无挂。

鼻子不停地流泪，心不停地流血。喉咙想说些什么，但嗓子痛的发不出声音。 混球李松鼠。

[link url="http://www.bilibili.tv/video/av19781/"] 那只我等了10年的猫头鹰啊，现在还没飞来。 那声我等了12年的召唤器啊，现在还没出现。 不用着急，我等着。

我已经可以熟练地通过淋巴，背部，腰肌，以及嗓子准确在前几个小时内预言自己发烧了。 保持优秀作息，坚持11点睡觉。 [img src="http://catf.me/photos/4951cb165db32ad2a715275904e2eb99.jpg" width="460" height="925"]

我一直以为是我自己赢了，直到有一天看着镜子，才知道自己输了，在我最美好的时候，我最喜欢的人都不在我身边。如果能重新开始那该多好啊。

1. 舞蹈家不老。 2. 魔术家很赞 2.费翔帅死了费翔帅死了费翔帅死了费翔帅死了费翔帅死了费翔帅死了费翔帅死了 费翔帅死了费翔帅死了 费翔帅死了费翔帅死了 费翔帅死了费翔帅死了 费翔帅死了费翔帅死了 费翔帅死了费翔帅死了 费翔帅死了费翔帅死了(*≥▽≤)ツ

新年好~~(*≥▽≤)ツ 外面炮放的跟打仗一样 想睡觉T T

比世道更可怕的，是人心。 比人心更可怕的，是重度拖延症。 比重度拖延症更可怕的……没有比重度拖延症更可怕的。 [img src="http://catf.me/photos/1228ba853ad2067f459d0ddf49369cf6.jpg" width="440" height="440"]

我尽力对每个人好。 Suddenly you realized that perhaps someone wasn't lost. But really, is lonely.

你不在 高興還是悲哀 你都不在 我受了傷再偷偷好起來 但你不在 一個人分飾兩角的戀愛 當我需要你的愛 你不在

去看《福尔摩斯2》，看到一半的时候发觉自己永远不可能触碰这个世界，极度沮丧，以至呼吸苦难。 福尔摩斯这部片子，看的我家小先生一头雾水，痛苦地问我“原著也是介个样子的咩-q-”。。讲印象最深刻的一个片段，福尔摩斯拖着莫叔准备往下跳的时候华医生开门走进来，蓝色的大眼睛扑闪扑闪的，福叔认真地看了他一眼就拽着相爱相杀的莫叔同归于尽了。 那一眼深情的哟，一瞬间“情深不寿”，“你若安好便是晴天”，“我这一生，虽有遗憾，并无后悔”，“再见了，我爱你”，blalalala的哗哗涌上心头。。。真是拍的不错。请容许我说一句，GAY导，[重重拍肩]好样的！ ———— "sometimes we throught we were doing the right thing." "really?Do you ready think so?" Stop cheating.

我还以为这是全学校最靠谱的dept呢。 梦想中快乐的睡觉们全烟消云散了。

Starry, starry night. Paint your palette blue and grey, Look out on a summer's day, With eyes that know the darkness in my soul. Shadows on the hills, Sketch the trees and the daffodils, Catch the breeze and the winter chills, In colors on the snowy linen land. Now I understand what you tried to say to me, How you suffered for your sanity, How you tried to set them free. They would not listen, they did not know how. Perhaps they'll listen now. Starry, starry night. Flaming flowers that brightly blaze, Swirling clouds in violet haze, Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue. Colors changing hue, morning field of amber grain, Weathered faces lined in pain, Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand. Now I understand what you tried to say to me, How you suffered for your sanity, How you tried to set them free. They would not listen, they did not know how. Perhaps they'll listen now. For they could not love you, But still your love was true. And when no hope was left in sight On that starry, starry night, You took your life, as lovers often do. But I could have told you, Vincent, This world was never meant for one As beautiful as you. Starry, starry night. Portraits hung in empty halls, Frameless head on nameless walls, With eyes that watch the world and can't forget. Like the strangers that you've met, The ragged men in the ragged clothes, The silver thorn of bloody rose, Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow. Now I think I know what you tried to say to me, How you suffered for your sanity, How you tried to set them free. They would not listen, they're not listening still. Perhaps they never will...

感觉 太差。像高中考砸了的阶段考试，总要拿着成绩单回去找家长签字。我单纯又愚蠢，从没仿过签名。